like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
