so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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