Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
