Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
