yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
