Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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