Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
