I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
