i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
