i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
