If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
