Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
