did you get engaged???
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
