Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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