She's JV to your varsity
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The power of my boobs compel you
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
