It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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