She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
