Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
