I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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