another moral hangover. fuck.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
