South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
