so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
