I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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