she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
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