Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
