I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
