Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
sarcasm needs its own font
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
