He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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