Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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