why didn't you poke me back
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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