Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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