You made me cry and you don't even care
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize