All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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