I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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