it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
