I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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