Banned from zoo.
Again?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
