dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
