Whoa Z and x make the same sound
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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