I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
