FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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