I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
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I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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