jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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