They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
