Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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