Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
