my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
