While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?