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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.

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  25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.

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  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.

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• (714): View more from California

  I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!

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