I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He felt like a one man threesome
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
