My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize