It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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