Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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