I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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