I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Randomize
