I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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