i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
