i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
BRING THE BAGELS
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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