we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
