just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
