We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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