Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
