i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
