Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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