Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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