But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
