I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
