is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
