Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
