I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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