Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
