just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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