Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
